


M&J

by 55555ive



Category: Furry (Fandom)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, College, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, F/M, Furry, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hybrids, M/M, Male Bonding, Male Friendship, Male Homosexuality, Moving In Together, Multi, Non-Human Humanoid Society, Oral Sex, POV Male Character, Recreational Drug Use, Rivalry, Romance, Sex, pop5on22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-01-18 07:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12383781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/55555ive/pseuds/55555ive
Summary: The continuation of "No Fur No Fun" , from the perspective of Mason. While the chapters of this story go together as a whole each individual chapter is its own episode . If you enjoy anything you read please leave a comment because I love reading those.





	1. Later

Her name was Marry Jane. She came in every morning at exactly the same time, and every morning I would strain not to claw myself to death just to avoid our usual conversation. Working at a coffee shop was mundane enough without her daily due of dilemma and bad since of humor. There was a time when Marry would have been easy to ignore and deal with but recently I had decided to make a change.

My boyfriend and I had been together for about two years or so. He understood with my being a half breed mix between a lion and a dragon I had , to put it lightly, a few anger and stress problems. My way of dealing with said problems was to role one and smoke one every morning. For a long time he was fine with my habit, after all it kept me calm and honestly he didn't know me without weed in my system. But I decided a few weeks ago that I would quit. I knew that sometimes I could go overboard and the weed would make me more distant than calm . The things I could do when I smoked too much were always well on my mind but I ignored the possibility of something going wrong because I could be an asshole without it. None the less I quit , because I love my boyfriend, I needed to learn how to deal with my temper without drugs , and weed is still illegal where I live.

Which brings us back to Marry Jane. If I still smoked every morning maybe I wouldn't be so ticked off by her, but I didn't smoke anymore. She always walks in around 9:20 but for some reason waits to order for another five minutes despite the fact that she orders the same thing every fucking day.

She stepped up to the counter.

Mason- Hi , how may I help you

She looked over the menu again as if she hadn't just spent five minutes looking at it.

Marry- yes I'd like a ....

Mason- you'd like a what

Marry- I'd like a number....

It was like she wanted to bug me. I wanted to say "come on lady we do this every day , just order the number 3 and move on". But of course I didn't say that.

Mason- if you need a moment take your time

Marry- oh I don't know , you work here you must know whats good, what do you think I should get

And it began, she was setting up the usual dry as sand joke.

Mason- Well I like the number one

Marry- too bad I cant order one of you

There it was. Most people would see it as a girl playfully flirting with a guy that shes into, but I know she has a boyfriend, she knows I'm gay and yet she still makes the joke. And it doesn't matter what I say , she always finds a way to make some variation of the joke. I could have said I like lattes and shed say "well I like you a latte" if I said I like a number 2 shed say "I can think of two things I want to order". At first I didn't mind the out of place flirtatious joke, but after weeks of her making the same pointless flirty joke it got old , and then it got annoying.

Mason- yea I guess you'll just have to get your usual

Marry- I don't know , I'm still thinking

She gazed at the menu above my head taking forever to make a decision and to add on to the dragged out moment she started to hum.

Mason- Marry , can we not do this today

Marry- do what

My mouth started to speak and before my brain could stop it a flood of words managed to escape.

Mason- can you just order your coffee and leave , you order the same thing every day if you wanted something different that would be fine but we both know you dont

Marry- how do you know I don't want something different, I'm a very spontaneous person

My claws slipped out and I started digging them into the counter top . Lucky for me my hands were hidden behind the register. I was so heated and I didn't know why I was exploding but I couldn't stop.

Mason- do you even drink coffee, do you like coffee at all , because every day you come in you make the same stupid jokes, get the same stupid coffee and then you go sit in the same stupid corner alone for half an hour and leave

My rage turned to taunting . I started to rant and go after her as if I was a therapist who wanted to hurt more than help . I'm both ashamed and not ashamed to say that I started to enjoy letting my thoughts fly off the handle.

Mason- and I know you don't drink the coffee because every fucking day I have to go over to your table and pick up your cup to throw it away and guess what , its always full , why is it always full Marry

Marry- why are you being mean , I thought we were friends

Mason- you thought we were friends

I laughed in her face before I continued.

Mason- what the hell would make you think that , just because we see each other every day doesn't mean we're friends, if I didn't work here I'd kill myself if I had to see you everyday

Marry- Mason

Mason- your probably too lonely sad and pathetic to make real friends , is that why you come here? because you think if you see someone enough times they somehow magically become your friend, grow the fuck up

Marry- I want to speak to your manager

Mason- oh come on Marry I thought we were friends, or did you suddenly realize I don't like you

Before I could continue I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around with rage in my speed and as I realized it was my manager my claws retracted and my demeanor shifted .

Needless to say my employment with Chippewa Caffè was over at the end of my shift. That was my fith job in three months. Josh was not going to be happy. My fight with Marry Jane was very one sided and if I'm honest it was my fault but I couldn't help myself.

I saw Josh later that night at his apartment on campus. It's amazing how he managed to keep the same roommates for two years straight and even more amazing that he managed to keep the same room. If I had my way his room wouldn't be as close as it was to one of his roommates, but his steady living arrangements made me feel a little safer. I knew if for some reason I couldn't pay for my apartment off campus Josh would let me stay with him.

We were cuddling in his bed watching some show about wrongly convicted teens in the prison system. He was holding me like a teddy bear. I don't know about other humans but when josh holds me its like all the rage and anxiety trails off until its gone. And I know he likes holding me from the way he nuzzles his face into the fur on the back of my neck and how he curls himself around me. I knew I wasn't going to find a good time to break the news so I thought maybe if I told him slowly he would understand.

Mason- so I'm looking for a new job

Josh- I thought you liked working at the coffee place

Mason- I did but I think I can do better

Josh- they started you at ten dollars an hour you get free drinks and you set your own schedule, what part do you think could be better

Mason- the customers

Josh- whats wrong with the customers

Mason- they're all so ... so ... annoying

Josh- annoying

Mason- yea

Josh- annoying how

Mason- always taking their time and making me wait on them

Josh- that's the job

Mason- you don't get it , you've never had a job before

Josh- I've had a job before

Mason- working for your family doesn't count, and you told me you were 10

Josh- Mason is there something your not telling me

I closed my eyes and felt his arms that were wrapped around me , I savored the warm feeling for a moment before I said what I knew would make him let me go.

Mason- it was Marry Jane , she got me fired today

He let me go and immediately i felt the absence of him on my body.

Josh- weed got you fired?... you were fired for having weed

Mason- not Marry Jane the weed , Marry Jane the person, shes this girl who comes in everyday and ...and ... she's annoying

Josh- how did Marry Jane get you fired

I had to get out of bed , I couldn't look him in the eye and say what I had to .

Mason- We got into a fight , not a physical fight or anything like that , it was just a loud verbal type of thing

Josh- well of course it wasn't a fight fight, your harmless

Mason- harmless!? You know I have fangs and claws

Josh- yes and your mom was a dragon, your dad is a lion , but we can get back to that later, you said you got into a fight , what was it about

That's the thing about being with someone for so long , over time you learn how to push each others buttons and if you stay together even longer than that you start pushing them for fun.

Mason- she...I ... its complicated

Josh- did you blow up again

Mason- I didn't mean to , and it wasn't a big blow up , it was more of a small blow up

He got out of bed and met me.

Josh- that's the second time you've been fired this month

Mason- you don't know how hard it is not to be pissed off at these people everyday without my

Josh- without your weed ?

You know when you were a little kid and your mom told you to clean your room or brush your teeth , that's what it felt like every time Josh gave me a lecture on why I shouldn't smoke.

Josh- you know why you shouldn't smoke anymore

Mason- lets not do this tonight Josh , please just not tonight

Josh- I don't get why you still think going back to it would help you

I turned my back to him and covered my face with my paw . I hate being nagged by my boyfriend, its not hot , its not fun , its not what i signed up for.

Mason- it took the edge off, and there is a lot of edge

Josh- everyone deals with people they don't want to see everyday, I just want you to be able to do that without drugs

Mason- weed isn't a drug , and I already gave up plenty I don't get why I have to give this up too

He didn't say anything for a while. I turned back around and he was sitting on the edge of his bed.

Josh- that's not fair

Mason- I told you if my dad found out about us

Josh- you said you wanted to try coming out to people

Mason- but not to my dad

Josh- no one told him but you

Mason- I didn't mean to

Josh- but you did and you know why

Two years together and it seems like we already have nuclear codes to blow up each others lives.

Mason- I was high, I know I was and I chose you and I know you didn't ask me to and you were fine with us being together in secret but I was so high that I

He grabbed my hand and locked eyes with me before he pulled me down to sit next to him.

Josh- I'm sorry

Mason- I don't want you to be sorry , it was my choice my decision and now I'm living with what comes with it

Josh- I know its hard

Mason- I don't wanna be homeless Josh, I don't think you understand sometimes my dad cut me off ,I'm on my own

Josh- your not alone

Mason- What, would you let me move in with you if I couldn't afford my apartment anymore

I was joking I thought he could tell by the laugh in my voice.

Josh- no

Mason- what

Josh- No, I wouldn't let you move in with me

That was like a bullet.

Mason- I thought we were... I mean ... I would ... I practically live here now , your roommates leave the door open so I can get in now

Josh- if you moved in here I could lose my room if the school found out I was sharing it with you , and this small room isn't really big enough for two people, plus we only have two years left before we graduate

Mason- oh , so your not saying you wouldn't move in with me your saying you wouldn't live with me here

Josh- exactly

Mason- then what if we bought a place off campus together

Josh- that would be cool , our own place , our own home

Mason- you'd have to get a job to help pay rent

Josh- you'd have to get another job , and keep it this time

I think it hit us both at the same time that we were beginning to have an in depth conversation about moving in together. We laughed about it for a minute but we came back to it.

Josh- I'm not even 21 yet

Mason- you will be in a couple of months, and I've been living off my own money for a few months now

Josh - but living together, that's a big deal

Mason- we only have two years of school left , I wasn't planning on leaving you and unless you were planning on leaving me wouldn't we eventually ,most likely, probably move in together

Josh- I guess so , but ...

Mason- your afraid of living without your parents paying for everything

Josh- I didn't say that

Mason- you didn't have to , but you know I understand, when my dad told me I was on my own I didn't know what to do , but you'll still have your parents and you'll have me

Josh- we're really talking about this

Mason- it looks like it


	2. Fresh

We didn't plan things through as well as we should have. I'll admit I got swept up in the idea of sharing a home with Josh so much so that I bypassed most of my usual thoughts that would have kept us from making a few mistakes. I was currently unemployed and would soon be kicked out of my apartment so that too was another reason to hurry along the process of our moving in together. We agreed that Josh wouldn't tell his parents about anything until we were sure we found a place we could afford. I may have been living off campus for a while but my dad is the one who got me my apartment. My dad made sure I was staying somewhere that looked nice didn't cost much and was close to school, I had no idea how hard it was to find all three of those things.

With summer nearing not only was I about to be evicted but if Josh and I didn't find a place soon he would have to go back home because the school closes its rooms for the summer. We picked a weekend to check out a few spots and all we need was to know what we were looking for.

We discussed what we wanted our apartment to have while out walking the quad on our way to eat. Its amazing how the school went from seeing me as a bipolar to seeing me as sexually confused. I wasn't hiding that we were together anymore but at times I would still feel as though I was rubbing it in people's face by doing little things. Holding hands , a kiss here or there , even just walking closely felt like a declaration of something that not to long ago I was afraid to even admit. It didn't help that I was a lion and he was a human ether but when Josh put his arm around me It didn't take long to forget about the eyes tracking our footsteps.

Josh- So we know we need the basics , at least one bedroom a kitchen a bathroom a living room

Mason- I was looking online, you'd be surprised how many places actually have all those things around here

Josh- I was thinking it be nice to have a place for all my old movies

Mason- you mean a book shelf

Josh- I was thinking more like a room

Mason- so a theater

Josh- yea if we find a place with two bedrooms we can just turn one into a theater

Mason- that could be nice , we have to have roof access

Josh- roof access?

Mason- I like being able to see the stars at night

Josh- where ever we pick needs to have plenty of windows

Mason- a garage for my car

Josh- maybe a pool

Mason- pools are cool but I don't do water

Josh- why not , is my big scary lion afraid of a little water

Mason- ha ha , no , I'm allergic to chlorine

Josh- so you've never been in a pool before

Mason- there was this one time when I was younger, that's how I found out I was allergic

We were getting carried away with our expectations for our new home but we made it to Chippewa Caffè shortly. Most people would try to avoid eat at a place that they've been fired from but when you've had so many carrier changes in the same small school town it can be hard to find a place you haven't worked. We sat in the back behind a group of sorority girls , Josh didn't exactly understand my need to avoid seeing my former boss but he went along with it. I took out my laptop to start looking up apartments near by while Josh ordered our food. For a coffee place Chippewa Caffè had a pretty extensive menu from the expected breakfast spread to the illogical selection of Moroccan food.

Mason- it says there are less than 20 locations with everything we want in a 20 mile radius of the school

Josh- do any of them look good

Mason- yea a few , but the aren't very cheap

Josh- what if we look further out from the school

Mason- there are more locations but having to make a long drive everyday would be hard on gas

Josh- maybe we don't need a pool and roof access

Mason- if we start looking for places with less amenities that could help but what all are we willing to cut from our list

What felt like a dream was beginning to have real gravity as we sat and searched for apartments for almost three hours. Thirty minutes was spent arguing with my former boss when he finally noticed me and another thirty minutes was just us eating , but we still spent a while really thinking things over. We narrowed our search down to 4 places. One apartment was close to school and cheap but it didn't have any inside walls. The second place was very expensive but it had everything we wanted plus an extra room. The third place was further from school than what was ideal and didn't have everything we wanted but it was affordable and had the basics. The fourth and last place we found seemed to be perfect. It was close to school , had three bedrooms ,a living room and a kitchen . It even had roof access and lots of natural light while still being well under what we thought rent would be.

Another week passed and we were ready to check out the apartments on or maybe list . Josh and I were confident that we would go with the fourth choice on our list but just to be thorough we checked out all four locations.

The first location was as depicted online. With no walls on the inside of the apartment everything was very wide open from the kitchen to the bathroom which was a toilet and tub in the corner exposed to the entirety of the large room. Sure Josh and I were comfortable with seeing each other naked but there are just some things that should stay private. Despite the open concept everything there were a few good things. There were plenty of windows so it was bright and there was a good view. There was free wifi and we couldn't overlook the low rent and how close it would be to school.

The second location, the most expensive of the four, was perfect almost as if it were taken from the joined minds of myself and Josh. There were three bedrooms the size of my current apartment. It was a top floor apartment so no one other than Josh and I would be able to use the roof. Best of all is that it was next door to a mall. But rent would be a killer.

The third location was further from school. It was actually by an airport which was a big down side. Furs don't do well with loud noise at night , it makes it impossible to sleep because we hear everything. It was a nice place though. There was only one bedroom and the basic stuff we wanted , but it was nice.

Honestly Josh and I weren't too enthusiastic about any locations other than the fourth. When we arrived it was like driving on to the set of a big budget movie set. The entire apartment complex was surrounded by a garden with tall trees and wild flowers. The apartments them selves were a dark red brick and fine wood on the outside. You could see that most of the apartments had grand amounts of windows, some even had entirely glass walls. We made it up to the apartment we were there to visit, apartment 230. It was on the top floor, it seemed that each apartment took up its own floor so if we moved in our neighbors would be living under us. There was a tour guide there to let us in she opened the door and we stepped inside.

There was all wood floors , granite counter tops in the kitchen, three bedrooms , two bathrooms , a porch over looking the garden and a stair way onto the roof. There was plenty of space and nothing looked old or out dated. Josh and I stepped away to the porch for a minute to talk alone.

Josh- this place seems too good to be true

Mason- especially for what there asking on rent ,

Josh- did someone die here, maybe that's why its so cheap

Mason- I don't know

Before we could say anything else the guide found us outside.

We looked around a little longer just to be sure nothing was wrong but we were sure that was the place for us.

If I could I would go back in time and stop us from making the decision that we did, and on the other hand I'm glad we made the choice we did. Ether way you spin it we didn't know what we were getting into. We were just kids trying to be adults, and in the long way our decision helped us grow up in a number of ways.

Josh and I moved in together before the end of the semester. He told his parents and I tried to tell my dad. Josh's parents took it well, I know they were over the fact that I'm a lion but they seemed to be skeptical of Josh and I moving so quickly from what I heard them say to Josh over the phone. My dad was a stone wall , he avoided seeing me so eventually I gave up trying to let him know my news. I liked to think that my dad would come around, we still talk but its short conversations with basic questions like are you still alive , are you in jail, do you have aids?

It was pretty cool seeing what it looked like when Josh and I mixed our styles together. Josh was a real movie geek , you couldn't have known it two years ago, but since he's been in school he's really turned into a movie guy. He has a big collection of old movies and a bunch of posters from TV shows I don't think even exist. He even has a bunch of film production stuff he got for his classes like cameras, film, and fancy lights. I guess you can say I have a nature vibe so most of my stuff was made of wood and I had a bunch of plants. Putting together the apartment went smoothly as far as I can tell, Josh had never bought furniture a day in his life so we used most of the stuff from my old apartment. The wood furniture big glass windows, and Josh's movie stuff came together in a way that surprised both myself and Josh. It looked like real adults put together the apartment.

Our first week was calm and relaxed , it was the first week of summer so there was no school to worry about. Josh and I enjoyed breaking in the new apartment by leaving numerous stains, claw marks, and scents everywhere. Of course I eventually had to go back to work, I hated groveling to my old boss but I had to in order to get my job back at the Caffè. Josh got a job as a busboy at a restaurant across the street from the Caffè so it was nice being so close to one another. We slowly started to realize the subtle differences between living together and always being around. When we didn't live together but I was always around normal things like showering and getting dressed were private. You don't know someone until you see there process of getting ready in the morning. And when showers stop being associated with sex you know you've gotten to a special kind of comfortable place. All in all we were adjusting fine.

It was around week two that we started to leave the haze of how special it was to live together. Everything was just so perfect in that apartment, too perfect. Day by day a single question started to come into our minds more clearly. How did two barley twenty year old guys with no experience looking for a place to live manage to land such a perfect set up. By Friday night it hit me.

Josh and I were on our way home from work, he had just gotten in the car when I came to a thought.

Mason- Josh , have you been outside of the apartment yet

Josh- what do you mean , we're both outside the apartment right now

Mason- no , i mean outside as in around the complex

Josh- no I guess not , why do you ask

Mason- I haven't met any of our neighbors yet

Josh- neither have I now that you bring it up , I almost did yesterday but before I could say a word its like this guy took off running

We made it home shortly , but I had an idea.

Mason- why don't we stay outside and see if we cant meet someone

Josh- you mean steak out our apartment complex

Mason- well when you say it like that

Josh- I'm up for it , it'll be like an episode of "Buddy Buddha"

Mason- is that a real show

Josh- it was big in the UK a couple years ago

Mason- yea but we live in America

Josh- a little culture goes a long way

We waited in my car for about fifteen minutes before we saw a guy leaving his apartment. He lived right under us , I wondered how we went so long without meeting or even seeing each other. He was a yellow cat with purple hair and it looked like he might have been blind in one eye but it was just a pale blue unlike his other eye which was sea blue. He was good looking, he might have been a musician and from the dog tags around his neck he was clearly in the military at some point.

As Josh and I got out of the car and approached the mystery cat it dawned on me how things must have seemed to him. Two guys waiting in a car getting out to approach you , how would you take something like that. To my surprise he didn't seem phased by our improperly planned approach. He stopped right in his tracks and eyed , I almost felt afraid to step even closer. His blind eye looked like a crazy eye glaring at us as we came closer until we were so uncomfortable that we finally stopped moving. He came closer filling in the slight gap between us.

Kaz- can I help you with something

He wasn't being hard intimidating , in fact he felt inviting.

Josh- we moved into the top apartment two weeks ago

Kaz- oh your the new guys , I gotta say the two off you put on quite the show

Mason- what show

Kaz- you know the purring and screaming, its very romantic

Josh- wait your talking about

I covered Josh's mouth with my paw before he could rip off the thin line of indirectness.

Mason- yea well we were just curious to meet someone, we've been here for two weeks and your the first person we've met that lives her

Kaz- I'm sorry to hear that , most of the people who live here are friendly I can assure you, my name is Kaz by the way

Josh- its strange how cheap rent is around here too though, it just feels like something is going on

Mason- something that we'd really like for someone to fill us in on

Kaz- I'm sorry, I wish I could help you but I was actually on my way to a gig

Mason- your a singer

Kaz- comedian

Mason-oh

Kaz- you and your human should come

Mason- me and my human

Kaz- I mean no disrespect, humans are just a rare thing to see around here

Josh- its alright Mason, you know my parents call you worse things all the time , they cant help it

Mason- I know

Kaz- if you'd like you can come by my place tonight after I'm done with my set , ill be back around ten, ten thirty

Josh- that be great

Mason- yes we'd really appreciate it

Kaz- fantastic

He gave us both a hug and somehow it didn't feel out of place. He seemed like such a cool guy. It was after he let us go that I realized why he seemed so chill and comfortable. He was high . I know the smell of weed anywhere, lucky for me Josh doesn't have my nose or else he would have smelt it too.

I thought I was going crazy but as Josh and I started up the stairs to get back home I smelt weed on almost every floor. Ether I was smell a scent that Kaz left behind or everyone was smoking something.

Once we were inside Josh and I blew off some steam our usual way. We got comfortable on the couch, Josh put on an old movie and Id wait about five minutes before I unzipped my pants and he'd lay his head in my lap . He'd suckle me until the movie went off and I'd talk to him about my day while I try to hold back my moans. Normally nothing would be on my mind it would just be me and Josh , he makes sure I'm satisfied and more. But that smell wouldn't leave me alone , knowing what it was meant that every time I walked down the stairs I would know. I wasn't an addict, people don't get addicted to weed but it feels good , its fun , and that alone makes it tempting. Add in the fact that your not supposed to have it and now theres a thrill element.

I felt like such an ass thinking about walking down stairs and asking to take a drag while Josh was literally sucking my dick. He was so good at it now that the barbs didn't freak him out. It couldn't have been good, we both had just made it home from work. He must have been tiered and my crotch was probably sweaty and nasty, but he was making me feel like we spent the whole day home alone together. One smell of weed and I was contemplating breaking a promise I made not only to myself but to Josh. One smell was all it took to make me reconsider the drug that made me loose my dad. How stupid could one guy be. I pulled him off of me and all but ripped his pants off , he was panting while some of my pre was around his mouth.

Josh- what are you doing

I got on my knees and took him into my mouth. I didn't want to think about anything else . I gripped his hands and brought them to my head for him to work my mouth up and down his shaft as he pleased. He was gentle with me , he didn't gag me or choke me which meant I had to work longer but I didn't mind.


	3. That's Nice

Josh- so what does it feel like to go to the zoo when you know there is a section with cats

Kaz- I would assume the same way you feel knowing that there are monkeys and apes

Josh- but humans aren't monkeys, monkeys are .... there are furs that are monkeys and there are feral monkeys but there are no feral humans

Kaz- sure there are or at the very least there was at a time, its in almost every elementary grade textbook, the evolution of man

Josh- but if you think furs evolved the same way humans did then wouldn't that mean eventually there wont be any ferals

Kaz- maybe, or maybe I'm drunk and don't know what I'm talking about

It was twelve at night, Josh and I took Kaz's offer to come by his place. It was a very unusual set up he had. Everything looked nice but nothing really fit together almost like he started decorating then let someone else finish for him. In his living room alone you could feel a bipolar structure . I could smell the weed on Kaz as he invited us inside, and I smelt more as Josh and I took a seat on his waterbed couch.

I was so focused on stopping myself from asking about the smell that I let Josh and Kaz talk for a while without uttering a word. Eventually I came back to my senses and interjected myself.

Mason- anyway, Kas its nice of you to have us over but now that we're here I think maybe we should ask the main question on our minds

Josh- that's right , I guess we got side tracked , we still wanted to know why we haven't met anyone else , it feels like people are avoiding us

Mason- and how is it that rent is so cheap here , don't get me wrong we like it but doesn't it seem strange to you that this place is so nice and yet the owner rents it out for almost nothing

Kaz seemed to always have a grin on his face but it lessened slightly at the sound of our question.

Kaz- I'm afraid you two have been had

Mason-what do you mean by "had"

Kaz- this complex is a very unique one

Mason- unique how

Kaz- its complicated but to put it shortly, everyone who lives here is somewhat of a flight risk

Josh- everyone here is crazy

Kaz- more or less , but to answer your first question the reason you haven't met anyone else is because we've been given a slight warning to steer clear of the both of you until tonight passes

Mason- why until tonight

Kaz- well there is the answer to your second question, due to the nature of most of the residents being so ... special its been hard for the owner to rent out the last apartment, the apartment that you two now live in

Mason- how does that answer our second question

Kaz- because its been so hard to rent that apartment out the owner dropped the rent to make it more comfortable, and the residents were told to keep away as a means of stopping us from scaring you away before the lease on your apartment was final

Mason- so your telling me

Josh- us

Mason- your telling us that the only reason we got to live here is because everyone else is so crazy no one else would move in , and everyone has been hiding from us so that we wouldn't back out of a contract and leave

Kaz- that about sums it up

I cant describe how pissed I was to find out that Josh and I were basically swindled. My claws slipped out and I accidentally poked holes in Kaz's couch.

Josh- Mason

Mason- what

Josh- your claws

It took a brief moment for me to realize my claws were ripping away at the couch. I retracted them as quickly as I could and got up to try to fix the holes.

Mason- this is bull shit

Josh got up to help me but Kaz stayed reclined in his bean bag chair.

Mason- your a cat why would you have a couch made of water

Kaz- I was declawed when I was younger

It was pointless trying to fix the holes , there was no tape or anything to patch them with so honestly we were just getting ourselves wet. The longer I wasted time trying to fix what was only getting worse the angrier I became.

Kaz- you don't have to worry about it , I have a guy that can fix it

I stood up and stepped to Kaz standing over him as if to hit him.

Mason- this is not alright

Kaz- you'd be surprised how often I have to get it patched

Mason - not the couch , our situation

Josh was still trying to plug the holes to stop the water with his fingers but it did little to help.

Mason- whats wrong with you , if everyone who lives here is a flight risk then there must be something wrong with you

Josh- Mason don't , its not his fault

Kaz seemed unphased by my snarling and hard stance.

Kaz- Josh you can stop , its alright

Mason- don't tell him what to do

Kaz- I understand your upset but I promise I

Mason- you promise what

I didn't give him any room to speak. You could take a picture and still be unable to capture the volley of emotions flying in that room. Josh eventually gave up on the couch but was trying to calm me down which seemed like an equally useless task. I was ready to hurt Kaz even though somewhere in my head I knew it wasn't his fault that we were tricked. Kaz was just calm and level headed. He never got up from his seat or raised his voice back at me despite the fact that we were in his home , we ruined his couch and I was out of line.

Kaz-my wife died

It only took a heart beat to process what was said .

Mason- what

Kaz- she killed herself in this apartment

I took a step back and Josh was standing behind me ready to hold me back from doing something stupid , but we both felt the sudden shift from rage to sorrow in the room.

Kaz- I know I'm not much older than the two of you but I think we were around your age when we got married, she was the love of my life and I wanted nothing more than to hold her near but she was a special kind of woman. She wanted to save the world and I wanted to make it laugh , her dream landed her in the armed forces. It made me sick to my stomach knowing that every time she went away I might not see here again, but eventually she was done and she came home for good. Things weren't the same, she wasn't the same but I thought because she was home I didn't have to worry. One afternoon I came home and the front door was open, I thought we'd been robbed. I checked the apartment room by room until I got to our bed room. She was laying in bed , I thought she was sleeping

He started to have trouble speaking , he had to swallow something every few words as if he was being choked. I felt the gravity turning as if it was light and heavy making me unbalanced as I seemed in a trance. Why was he opening up to two complete strangers.

Kaz- I went to her and turned her to me and that's when I saw the foam around her mouth , she poisoned herself

He took a breath and stopped the tears in his eyes before they could fall.

Kaz- you asked whats wrong with me , I miss my wife so I understand not wanting to live here, I don't ether

I was speechless, Josh was standing behind me the entire time but I knew it hit him the same way.

Mason- I'm sorry about the couch

Kaz- its fine

Mason- and I'm sorry for loosing my head , i just

Kaz- its alright really

Josh- I think we should go

Kaz- you don't have to go

Josh- I think we all could use some time to process and come down , right Mason?

Mason- right , Kaz I know its not your fault that we were tricked and you've been nothing but nice , you even let us in your home

Kaz- its been so long since I've had anyone inside and you remind me of her so much

Mason- me

Kaz- she had a temper to match a volcano but she could also be as cool and calm as a glass of wine

It was hard to say anything other than sorry especially with him being so nice and understanding when it was I who should have been better. Josh started to escort me out. I seemed to be frozen stunned by Kaz's story so I may not have ever moved my feet to leave if not for Josh making me do so.

Josh- thank you again for having us and we will pay for whatever we messed up with the water from the couch

We were out, Josh closed the door behind us slowly as if it might shatter , it could have with all that It witnessed.

Josh- what was that

Mason- I'm sorry Josh

Josh- he wasn't to blame for anything

Mason- I know

Josh- and what does it matter if our neighbors are a little strange or different, we still have a big apartment, a home for relatively nothing

Mason- I know Josh, for fucks sake I know so please ease up

I walked up to our apartment alone leaving Josh behind me to trace my footsteps. I heard him when he made it inside and closed the front door. He found me in our bedroom , I was taking my clothes off to go to bed.

Josh- I know its hard , but ... that scared me , seeing you get so made so quickly over something that's hardly worth worrying about at all

Mason- I don't want you to be scared of me , I would never lay a hand on you

Josh- I know you wouldn't, its other people I worry about, if I wasn't in the room with you and Kaz a moment ago what would you have done ?

Mason- I...I don't Know

Josh- and that's what scares me

Josh took off his clothes and got into bed with me.

Josh- I didn't understand before but I think I do now

Mason- understand what

Josh- if you want to smoke weed again I understand

Mason- what

Josh- people smoke for all sorts of reasons some more vital than others but I see now how hard it is for you

Mason- you want me to smoke again

Josh- no , I want you to live without it but if it'll make things easier for you.... then

Mason- its been a long day and an even longer night , why don't we give ourselves a break and talk about this in the morning

Josh- that sounds like a plan

Josh wrapped his body around mine holding me in his embrace under the sheets until we fell to sleep. We both felt the tension still wound up between us but we didn't want to go to bed in a bad place. At least the end of our day was somewhat in harmony.


	4. Sunny Saturday

Saturday morning was smooth. Light was poring into the room like cream , Josh was holding me tight and for a brief moment I'd forgotten where we left things the night before. Unfortunately savoring the moment wasn't possible due to an abrupt knock at our door that woke Josh. He got up and put on a pair of shorts leaving me in bed, he must have thought I was still sleeping. I sat Up and listened as he walked to the door undid the three locks and opened it . I knew who it was when I heard the voices. Josh's roommates. I thought we would be done with them when Josh moved off campus, but I seemed to be wrong.

Honestly I was fine with Josh's roommates, they were his friends but there was one who I couldn't stand. I knew what Tyler and Josh did was before Josh and I got serious or even remotely knew one another, but he got under my skin. Josh told me they slept together a long time ago and Tyler must have known that I knew but he acted as though I didn't. As much as I trust Josh I couldn't trust Tyler not to try something.

I got out of bed and put on some clothes as quickly as possible, I didn't want to leave Tyler the tiger alone with Josh for even a minute. I made myself look crazy as I open the door from our bedroom to the living room so quickly and abruptly. Whatever conversation they were having ended the moment I stepped through the door way. Josh was quick to come over to me, I suppose my entrance was more than necessary.

Josh- morning

Mason- morning babe

Josh- that was some entrance

Mason - was it

Tyler was watching us from across the room . He was sitting on my couch with his feet up on the coffee table, no one does that but me. I wasn't about to blow a fuse after the event of the previous night so I went a different way. Josh was about to say something but before he could i gripped the sides of his face and pulled him into a kiss. I worked my tongue down his throat probably choking him but as I did I locked eyes with Tyler. He saw me watching him watch me and as if he knew the perfect way to piss me off he gave me a thumbs up. I pulled my tongue out of Josh's throat and let him go. He was out of breath.

Josh- what was that for

Mason- because I love you

He couched a little still out of breath.

Josh- next time warn me before you use full dragon tongue

Mason - sorry, you know you get me excited

Josh- yea well we have guests so lets try to keep the excitement down at least until they're gone

Josh walked me over to Tyler Ray and Paxton. They all stood up to greet me

Ray shook my hand , I'm glad he eventually got over the whole cat vs dog thing we had going. You say a wolf smells like a dog one time then all of a sudden you have a species war. I reached my hand out to Paxton for him to shake it but he decided to go with a hug instead. If not for him being a rabbit I might have been freaked out by how overly affectionate he was. I could see it on Josh's face he wanted to laugh a little at the image of a lion huging a rabbit. Tyler shook my hand but pulled it into a half hug to wispier in my ear.

Tyler- nice tongue trick you'll have to show me how you do that

I wanted to let my claws shred his hand while I was still holding it but Josh was in the room.

They sat back down and Josh sat with them but that left no room for me on the couch so I sat at the bar of the kitchen. I had to strain to be in the conversation while i was sitting a good distance from everyone. I hated watching Tyler make Josh laugh. I hated watching him put his arm around Josh. I hated how close they were sitting together.

Tyler- we're sorry it took so long to come see the place

Josh- its fine , we didn't finish putting together everything until a few days ago anyway

Ray- still cant believe you guys really did it, I mean how long have you been together for

Josh- two years

Ray- exactly, I don't bring anyone home until after three and you guys are already living together

Pax- and you two must catch plenty of eyes being a fur and human couple

Josh- not like on campus

Tyler- well were happy for you man, to be honest I knew you would end up with a cat , I mean after we ...

I cut him off ,he was about to go too far.

Mason- lion

I shouted when I meant to only raise my voice. They all turned to look at me like I was crazy.

Mason- I mean I'm a lion

Tyler- yea man, your a cat

Mason- not a cat , a lion

He laughed as if I were joking but I wasn't.

Tyler- and I'm a tiger , we're both cats man , that's probably how we both ended up with

Before he could finish, and thankfully before I could jump from the bar on to the couch and hurt Tyler , there was a loud explosion outside.

Ray- what was that

Josh- I don't Know

We all rushed over to the window to look outside. There was a rat guy on the lawn in front of the parking lot working on a car big enough to be a monster truck. The explosion must have been its motor or engine because there was plenty of smoke coming from it.

Pax- is he one of your neighbors

Josh and I looked at one another. I think we both remembered Kaz telling us the other residents were told to keep a low profile so we wouldn't be scared away until Friday night. It was Saturday morning. To be fair it was just one guy working on his car , that's hardly crazy or anywhere near something that would make us want to move. Or so we thought. The explosions continued to go off every hour almost like clock work until 12:30. By that time Josh's friends were gone.

I was cooking lunch while Josh was flipping through shows on TV when we realized the sound of a war zone had finally ended.

Mason- thank god

Josh- I thought it would never end

I brought our food to the living room. I made Josh a veggie burger and made myself a normal meat burger.

Mason- I don't get how you can eat those things

Josh- you don't think its strange that the only species not to evolve into furs just so happen to be the most eaten around the world

Mason- no

Josh- think about it , fish , pigs , cows chicken , none of them have evolved yet but cats, dogs, birds,reptiles, even snakes have

Mason- I try not to think about it too hard

We both laughed as we were about to bite in. Before we could even lift our food from our plates there was a knocking at our door.

Mason- who's that

Josh- I don't Know

Mason- you think your friends came back

Josh- no , Ray said they were heading out of town

We got up and went to the door. Josh checked the peephole and whoever knocked on our door had already gone away. I opened the door anyway and to our surprise there were about a hundred different flyers taped to the outside of our front door.

Mason- what the hell

We took the flyers down and brought them inside to throw them away. There was a flyer for a woman's rights group meeting, a species united meeting, a vegans are us meeting, even a flyer for substance abuse prevention. We found the common denominator between all the flyers as we stuffed them in the trash. All the meetings were being hosted by the same woman in apartment 215.

We went back to our food after all the flyers were taken down.

Josh- so we have a guy on the lawn working on a bomb with a cars body

Mason- Kas the comedian who's wife ... you know

Josh- and now an activist who seems to be active in everything

Mason- how many apartments are there here

Josh- 30

Mason- and that just three of them

We ate our food before we went to work. As nice as our new home was it still had more to offer. There was an extra room Josh and I didn't know what to do with so every other day we would go in it lay on the floor and think out loud what we might do with it. It wasn't something we planned to do , it just happened. Some couples go out to eat , some have sex, and some watch movies, Josh and I do all of those things but our "thing" was that room. We'd start off by talking about what we wanted the room to be but the conversation could go anywhere after that. That hard wood floor four white walls and the light shining in was all Josh and I needed to have a good time. Some days we would find ourselves in that room until the sun went down.

Josh- we met when you were high

Mason- you got high with me

Josh- I know , and it was fun

Mason- you never told me why you left

Josh- you really don't know? Your the Deans son

Mason- so

Josh- we were high , and you tried to fuck me in your dads tent , he could have came back at any minute

Mason- but you did like me

Josh- you were so comfortable and nice

Mason- you mean needy

Josh- no not at all

Mason- you can say it , we both know I didn't have many friends and I still don't, so I tried hard to make you like me

Josh- you didn't need to, sure I saw that you could use a friend but eventually you let your guard down and stopped pretending to be who I wanted

Mason- you were always what I wanted

Josh- that is so cheesy it could be in one of my old movies

Mason- I mean it , before I met you I always knew I wanted , needed something but I didn't know its name or what it looked like , its hard to look for water when you've gone your whole life only knowing sand

Josh- but we met when you were high

Mason- yea , we had our first kiss when I was high, we even had sex together for the first time when I was

Josh- the entire beginning, the beginning to us you were stoned

Mason- but I haven't been for a while

Josh- and I still love you

Mason- so if you love me when I'm high or not

Josh- but do you, sure you get along better with other people but the viral video, the thing that happened with my cousin, and what happened with your dad , all those things happened when you were high

Mason- the viral video passed, and your cousin said she forgave me

Josh- but your dad

Mason- my dad had to find out eventually ...... but I get what your saying

Josh- its your choice


	5. Long Ride

Sex is not clean , its not pretty , its not something that you want to take pictures of but it is beautiful. Its rough, dirty, raw, and unhinged .Sex , between two people who are in love, is a mirror of their relationship in the most unfiltered glass. For me and Josh its a drop of water falling from the sky and just as it reaches the ground gravity shifts and it floats back up. We're equal , different but never over powering. I get that heat, a fire that fills the space inside of me that I know everyone has , that space that grows deeper and feels like it could swallow the earth. Its never one way , always in balance always in sync even when we get of beat or out of rhythm. It feels like bliss. Man that's the stuff that makes you wake up with wet sheets clinging to your fur. And I did, it was a good bad way to start my day. And my day was going to be long. You know whats worse than getting fired from a job , having to grovel to your old boss to get your job back. Josh and I needed the money so I had to go back to the Caffè. My old boss was a dick about letting me come back but he let me come back. I was on a probationary period, if there was a single incident or outburst I'd be gone for good. It was hard , but then Josh and I had our conversation. The Monday after Josh gave me the OK to smoke again was awkward. I was on my way out when Josh stopped me. He sat me on the couch and tossed a bag of weed on the coffee table in front of me.

Mason- where did you get that

My eyes went big and I grabbed the bag.

Josh- Kaz gave it to me , he sold it to me

Mason- so, you were serious

Josh- you know how I feel about it, but yes I was serious

Mason- so I should .... smoke it now

Josh - are you asking or telling me

Mason- I don't know , I mean this is ... you bought me weed

Josh- I know

Mason- no but really, you bought me weed

Josh- I get it

I held the bag in my paws eyeing it like a pot of gold. Off course I came to my senses eventually and settled for putting it in my pocket.

Mason- I'm not gonna smoke it , not now anyway

Josh- really

Mason- yea , Ill save it for when I really need it

Josh- that sounds like a good idea, better than what I thought you'd do

He laughed as he got up from the couch.

Mason- what did you think I'd do , smoke it all before I go to work

He opened the door for me.

Josh- more like before I could get the bag on the table

Mason- ha ha

I kissed him in the doorway before going on my way.

I'm ashamed to say I smoked half the bag in the car on my way to work. It had been weeks , months since the last time I got high so I was on cloud. Weed gets humans high but for furs there's no telling how high we might get from the slightest puff and I smoked half a bag. I might as well have snorted something with how high I was. I'm not entirely sure how I made it work, or parked my car , but problems started to arise the second I walked into the Caffè.

All furs don't have a natural stronger sense of smell , sure there are plenty that do but they're typically dogs. And wouldn't you know it , my manager was a wolf. He smelt me before I could take two steps in the door. He pulled me into the back room and closed the door behind us.

Marvin- are you fucking kidding me

Mason- what is it now , I just got here

Marvin- you just got your job back and now your trying to cost me my own

Mason- Marv look man I don't know what your talking about

Marvin- your high , you came to work high, you realize that I'm the one who got you your job back right , if you fuck up again my ass is on the line just as much as yours

Mason- I didn't know you were gay Marv

Marvin- I'm not gay

Mason- well you said your ass would be on a line like mine and the only line my ass is ever on belongs to Josh , you remember Josh right

I heard the words coming out of my mouth but by the time I realized what I was doing I was saying something else.

Marvin- your going home for the day

Mason-but Marv I gotta make some money , you don't want me to be a street walker do you

I didn't notice at the time but apparently I was yelling every other word so loud that anyone inside the Caffè or outside could hear me.

Marvin- Mason go home , and I swear to god if you ever come to work high again you wont have legs to walk the streets with

Mason- that's not very friendly Marv

Marvin- go home Mason

I left the back room and went back to my car but only after stealing a hand full of baked goods on my way out.

As high as I was I knew I couldn't go home Josh would kill me . Unfortunately I was so high that while I told myself not to go home my body drove back to apartment complex anyway.

Mason- shit

I parked on an odd end of the parking lot in hopes that Josh wouldn't look outside and notice the car. I walked around for a while thinking of somewhere to go. To this day I'm still not entirely sure how I end up where I did next. It was apartment 5. I don't remember knocking on the door or ringing the bell but someone opened the door.

He was a rabbit. He was also naked and had music playing so loud I couldn't hear him as he tried to speak to me. Then suddenly the music was cut off and this monkey guy , who had on clothes, came to the door.

Zane- sorry about that Kurt likes his music pretty loud while he works out... and he thinks being naked helps him feel the vibrations better

The loud music shocked me enough to bring me back to earth. I was still high but I was hitting a more mellow period.

Mason- its fine

Zane- so what did you need

Mason- what , um I forget

I tried not to make eye contact bu I'm sure he saw how red my eye's were.

Zane- oh, OK well take care I guess

He started to shut the door but I couldn't let him. I put my foot in the door.

Mason- I'm really really high right now and I cant go home or else my boyfriend will find out

He stopped trying to close the door while he laughed.

Zane- I'm sorry to hear that but I don't think we can help you

he started to shut the door again.

Mason- could I stay here for a little while

He didn't seem too keen on letting me in , and reasonably so.

Zane- I don't know, we don't even know you so...

Mason- please, ill be gone as soon as I come down

He thought about it. He looked back at his rabbit friend then back at me.

Zane- sure , whats one more high person gonna hurt

He opened the door to let me in and that's when I got a clear view of the naked rabbit doing downward dog in the living room.


	6. Too Much

I forget how long I was sitting on their couch. It was long enough for the rabbit to eventually put on clothes and Zane was nice enough to offer me a drink. The sun was going down and I felt I was back to normal, but every time I tried to move I was reminded how far from normal I was. Everything was moving all at once growing and shrinking in the room, and I couldn't stand without loosing my balance. I might have been scared if not for Zane being somehow equipped to handle me.

Zane - yea , the whole complex is crazy , it's like everyone attracted each other and now we're all just here 

Mason- Me and Josh aren't crazy

Zane- Maybe not but do you usually smoke this much or was the grass too strong 

He held up two fingers in front of my face and at the time I couldn't tell how many there were. 

Mason - no, not anymore 

Zane- not anymore 

Mason- I quit for a while

Zane- well maybe you should make your return a bit slower 

Watching the sun go down through the widow I knew I needed to get home. 

Mason- I need to go 

I got to my feet but quickly fell over landing back on the couch with a bit of a sound to capitalize on my embarrassment . 

Zane- I think you should see someone 

Mason- like who, a doctor? 

Zane- yes 

Mason- I'm high not brain dead 

Zane- weed doesn't make it that hard to stand, at least not by itself 

He was right , if anything I should have been fine a long while before that moment because of a tolerance I'd built up over time . Whatever was in my system was hanging on much longer than the grass and seemed to only get stronger as time passed. 

Mason- well I didn't take anything else 

Zane- maybe the weed was laced with something

Mason- well if it was it's too late to do anything about it now , I need to get home 

I tried to walk but I couldn't move enough to sit up straight. 

Zane - look if you don't want a doctor maybe we should call your boyfriend, what was his name? Josh

Mason- what no , he'd kill me 

Zane - better he take you home and kill you there than you killing over here 

Mason- that's not funny 

Zane - yea well , ether I call a doctor or I call Josh , you decide man but this isn't the best way to meet your neighbors 

I knew it was a bad idea hiding out in a strangers house. I couldn't make a decision, I couldn't think straight. I literally could not think straight, I found myself drifting off as I tried to speak until finally everything went black. it took a while for me to pass out I was just laying there paralyzed unable to see but my body felt like it was vibrating. 

When I woke up I was in a different room , my bedroom. 

Mason- Fuck 

It wasn't where Josh and I lived. It was my childhood home, from before college when I lived with my dad. I hadn't seen my dad the Dean in months , and I had no idea how I came to be back in his house. Whatever was wrong with me before I passed out seemed to be over, aside from a hangover. Before I could step out of bed my phone buzzed on the nightstand. I'd missed at least 12 messages, 40 phone calls , and I had plenty of voice mails. Josh had to be worried sick , and I didn't want to think about what my boss thought. I was out for 6 days. 

It seemed that dear old dad wasn't home to keep an eye on me. I didn't want to be there when he got back. The house was a long way from where Josh and I lived, a long way from where most people lived. It was an old farm house in the middle of nowhere , I'd have to be crazy to try walking. But I wasn't high or crazy I just didn't want to deal with my dad , so I tried walking anyway. I made it half way to the fence around the property before I realized something felt off. There was something in my ear. Not inside it but rather clipped into it. It felt metallic as I rubbed it with my fingers. Someone tagged me. I made it to the fence and as I stepped beyond it the tag began to ring . It was like a fire alarm going off beside my head. It was so loud I could hardly move but I was smart enough to Know what triggered it. I stepped back into the perimeter of the fence and the sound ended. What the hell was going on. 

I walked back to the house and called Josh. He picked up before 3 rings. 

Mason - Josh 

Josh- your awake 

Mason- yea , Josh there's something going on 

Josh- I know what happened 

Mason - yea but I don't 

Josh- you don't remember 

Mason - no 

I heard a car pulling up in the driveway, it had to be my dad. 

Mason - Josh I'll have to call you back 

Josh- what no , wait 

I hung up the phone as my father entered the house. He had groceries. 

Dean- your awake

Mason- yea 

Dean- then you can get what's left in the car 

My dad was once the only family I had , the only family I needed. When my mother went away he changed, he became that TV dad everyone always dreamed of having. He never let me see how hard it hit him for my mother to be out of our lives. but I knew. You can't hide those eyes that people have when they've lost something, I had them too. But through it all he put on a brave face and he kept me afloat. When he found out I was with Josh there was shift. He always told me humans were the same as us and that we were equals, and all the other bull shit it turns out he didn't believe. It was fine for a fur and a human to be together, just not his son. He could live with the rest of the world being blended and together, but not his son. And the fucked up part of it all is that I couldn't bring myself to tell Josh. To that day Josh thought the reason my father didn't want us together was because it was gay , but my father couldn't care less about what Josh had between his legs. He went from a light hearted father to a distant relative over night. And I suppose i did little to help.

Mason- get it yourself 

Dean- I hope you don't expect to stay here and speak to me that way 

Mason- why would I stay here 

Dean- because it's ether here or a cell 

Mason- a cell ? 

Dean- I'm assuming you don't remember the past few days so let me fill you in , your neighbor, the nice primate fellow, took you to a hospital where you were treated for narcotic overdose, the authorities were notified of your condition and found a substantial amount of marijuana on your person 

Mason- then why am I not in a "cell"

I did air quotes as i spoke in a sarcastic tone. 

Dean- being your first offense on record and my being your emergency contact , you were ordered to serve a year on house arrest

Mason - by who , I didn't see a judge 

Dean- no you didn't, but I did and you should thank god that I was able to talk a judge down from prolonged incarceration to this 

Id rather be in a jail cell. I yelled at him out of confusion and anger.

Mason- I'm not staying here, I live with Josh

Dean - don't you dare raise your voice to me 

His roar was bigger than my own . I went silent. 

Dean- you are staying here , it doesn't matter how you or I feel about it now, perhaps if you'd listened to me before now we wouldn't be in this situation

Mason- your not going to keep me from seeing Josh

Dean- I believe you've kept yourself from seeing him, and while you are here he is not to be inside the walls of this house 

Mason - why do this, you didn't have to answer when the hospital called you, you didn't have to talk to the judge , and if you somehow managed to talk him out of sending me to jail we both know you could have told him who I live with so I'd be with Josh and not you, so why , why do this 

Dean- because you are still my son , and I'm not about to allow you to ruin yourself any further with these slew of bad decisions you seem to concoct for yourself

I was trapped in a house with my father and Josh would have to live alone in our apartment for a year. There was too much racing through my mind. Josh would have to deal with our neighbors on his own. Sleeping in a place with so many strange people just doors away. And we knew so little about any of them. I wouldn't be around to keep his friends from school from getting too close. No doubt he would need someone to turn to while I was away. I'd have to be stupid or ignorant to think he wouldn't call Ray, Paxton, and Tyler. How would we see each other if my father wouldn't let him in his house. There was too much.


	7. Josh interlude

In love , it's a crazy place to be , it changes more than anything. It's the best feeling in the world but it takes so much to keep it right. Mason and I clicked like a puzzle and there was never any doubt that we loved one another. But we weren't keeping ourselves safe. We let what we had with each other lead us down a road till we met a dead end. We gave into one another and forgot reality. I gave him a bag of weed, but that was the dead end. 

There were signs leading up to the wall that I let myself look past , that I said I wouldn't look on to , but I should have. The day he and his dad cut ties was the day he started to fall and because I loved him I fell with him when I knew I should have pulled us up. He was so sure that everything would be OK. It was so easy to believe everything would work out because we were both there to reassure one another on something neither of us was sure of. He lost his apartment, he couldn't keep a job , and he always smoked but after things with his dad he used more than what was safe. I didn't want him on the streets so I moved in with him. He couldn't keep a job so I got one and even went so far as to ask my parents for money. And the one line I tried to keep him from crossing became another line I gave him permission to cross because I couldn't stand to see him suffering so unhappy and angry. If only I'd stopped us, if only I looked away from his eyes and at the road we walked maybe then things would have been different. 

But what ifs don't help the situation when you can't go back in time. 

Our problems weren't entirely Masons fault. Where I enabled him to get worse I think it's fair to say he gave into my craving for things to escalate. I always wanted more and he was right there ready to give it to me, even when I didn't know what "it" was. He was homeless but I don't think he asked to move in together for himself, he saw good we were together and moving in was just a natural progression. It was too fast. I would do it all again but only if we could do it slower. I swear it was like being on a roller-coaster always on a nose dive. The sex , the love , the conversation was enough to make me forget what I should have been anticipating. 

But seeing him in that hospital bed was a wake up call. I was gonna always love him or not at all . If I let us keep going down the river we would surely drown so I had to make things right. We already had to deal with separation and his father, but I'd have to work enough to keep our apartment on my own and school was going to be back shortly. We needed to step back . But was I willing to make the move necessary to keep us from going under, or would my next action be the one to sink the relationship.


	8. Conjugal visits

Dirty , raw , hard and fast, I'm talking about sex. I'm talking about stripping it down and doing the dirty 30, the screw and the hole , the monster mash. I couldn't have Josh inside the house but there was a barn. He was still pissed at me for fucking things up , and I was pissed at myself. But being mad never stopped sex from being good, if anything it made it intense. If you've never bent a guy over a hay stack in a barn while the summer sun beams through the old wood like spotlights then you don't know what your missing. There was so much space we couldn't move without making a sound loud enough to bring the structure down around us. The sweat , the moans , that feeling of being so into one another that you forget to pull out when it's done. It's a wild experience. But when it's done it sucks. Your sitting in an old dusty barn in the summer heat. There's hay sticking to you in places hay should never be, and if your like Josh and I you realize that your still pissed off but your so out of it you don't care. 

Mason - why did we do this , this was a bad idea 

Josh- you said farm sex would be fun 

Mason- I should have cut my fur , I think I might have a stroke 

Josh- your a lion shouldn't you be used to the heat 

Mason- I never lived in Africa Josh , I'm not an African lion 

Josh- your still a lion 

Mason- let's go inside and get cleaned up 

Josh- I thought your dad didn't want me inside 

Mason - he's not here, and he'll be pretty busy with school starting soon 

We walked from the barn to the farm house still naked because things had gotten messy. 

Josh- you know we have to talk about the apartment 

Mason - what about it 

Josh- how are we going to keep it 

Mason- rent is almost nonexistent you should be able to ... you know 

It doesn't matter how long we'd been together, I didn't want to imply that I thought Josh would just automatically do what I wanted. It wasn't fair for him to have to pay to keep something we both wanted especially if I wouldn't be around. 

Josh- school starts up next week though and 

I didn't mean to but we'd made it to the bathroom and as I cut the water on for the shower it seemed I cut Josh off. 

Mason - and what 

We stepped in the water. 

Josh- never mind 

Mason- no don't do that , what is it 

Josh- I don't know how we can keep the apartment and I still get to go back to school 

I was washing his hair so he had his eyes closed but if they'd been open he might have seen how cracked mine were. 

Mason- we can't move , not for a while anyway because of the agreement we signed when we moved in 

Josh- I know but 

Mason - but what 

I wasn't mad , more than anything I was shaken. We'd come so far from just being in a relationship , I didn't want to step back . 

Josh- there are ways to sell it without breaking the agreement

Mason - so you want to sell our first home together 

Josh- no , but 

I'd gotten most of the filth off of me and my voice was starting to shake , so I stepped out of the shower. By the time I was dry and getting dressed Josh was out of the shower as well , he found me in my bedroom still putting on my pants. 

Josh- I want to finish school, I have to , and we moved too fast when we moved in together 

Mason- can we not do this right now Josh 

Josh- I still love you , your still the same big fluffy cat I fell for that day in the tent 

Mason- and your still the one person who sees me 

Josh- then this doesn't have to be another problem for us to face 

Mason - but it's our place , it's our place

Josh - we can have another place together

I wasn't thrilled about the idea of loosing our apartment but I wasn't about to command Josh to quit school to keep it. 

He explained how we'd do it pretty well. We'd move most of our stuff into storage and Josh would let people move in. Josh would move into the room we never did anything with and basically give our bedroom to whoever was moving in. The new people would pay for the apartment and Josh could go to school. And when the agreement was up Josh would move out leaving the new guys the apartment. It sounded like a good enough idea. But we didn't need to agree on anything for a few weeks. 

Josh and I had time to just be alone for a while after we talked about our place. There wasn't much to do but I was just hopping not to have to talk about the incident. I'd thought about it plenty while I was alone but talking to Josh was a sure way to ruin what little time we had before he'd need to leave. 

I ran the events in my head over and over again. Did I smoke half the bag in my car before I went to work, yes, but I've never been a light weight. And I know I didn't take anything else, so something had to have been in the weed. But Josh got it from Kaz. What ever was in the weed was strong enough to almost kill me , Kaz wouldn't try to kill Josh, would he? Why would he? Sure he was a little strange the last time I saw him but he seemed sad not crazy. I was racking my brain while Josh and I were watching TV. Nothing made sense but regardless of the reasons or how's I was still on house arrest. 

I don't know when Josh got up but I remember him walking around my room while I was laying in bed. A person's child hood bedroom is a very personal place. It's almost like he was walking through my life as he wandered around looking at things picking up memories he had no idea about as he held them in his hands. It's a little humbling. 

He picked up a picture of my mom. 

Josh- you still don't know what happened to her 

Mason- I woke up one morning and she was gone

Josh- I don't know what I'd do if my mom just disappeared, you know she's the first person I told about us 

Mason - yea I remember you told me 

He set the picture down. 

Josh- this is a pretty cool room , I would have been here every day if I knew you as a kid 

Mason- wish you could have been, I didn't have many friends at that time 

Josh- because of the temper 

Mason- something like that , let's just say I grew up faster than most 

A lot faster than most. When I lost my mother I guess you can say I lost a few other things. In waiting on her return I lost my patients. When she never came home I lost a lot of hope . And when she never answered my calls I learned to be alone. My dad tried his best to keep me from loosing more but he didn't know what he was doing. He did his best though. In time I tried to regain everything that I lost , I tried to open back up to people but by that time I didn't know how to go back to being that kid. I'm just lucky that Josh found me and he saw that kid was still in me. 

Josh- they say those who grow up fast live in the sun longer 

Mason- who says that 

Josh- a fortune cookie U had from that Chinese place 

Mason - you know we talk a lot about my past but I don't know many of your friends 

Josh- you know Paxton, Tyler , and Ray 

Mason- come on Josh , you know I don't like those guys 

Josh- they're my friends 

Mason- and you slept with one of them 

Josh- you said you'd get over that 

Mason- and I did , but whenever he's around its like he tries to rub it in that he had you first 

Josh- had me? 

Mason- don't do that , you know what I mean 

Josh- he doesn't mean anything by it 

Mason- I don't want to talk about them , I wanna talk about who you were before you came to college before we met, before you grew out that goatee

Josh- you like the goatee

Mason- I love the goatee , but really , who did you hang out with before there was a Ray, Paxton, and Tyler 

Josh never seemed to talk about his childhood, not in detail. I thought I had a past but Josh knew it well enough to write a book. What could he have to tell me that he felt was so bad he needed to avoided it? That was a question I wouldn't get an answer to that day because my father's car was pulling into the driveway at the time.


	9. Short Long day

I'd never had to sneak someone out of my child hood bedroom before that day. Thing is Josh's car was outside so even if I could have sneaked him out of the house without my father seeing him he would have still known Josh was there , but caught in the moment Josh and I had forgotten that key piece of logic. He jumped out of my window as I stepped out of my room to find my father heading my way down the hallway. 

Dean- where is he 

I stood outside my bedroom door leaning against it. 

Mason - where's who 

Dean- you know who 

My father pushed me aside and swung my door open but by that time we both could hear Josh was driving away. He turned back to me and I could have sworn there was steam escaping from his ears. He didn't ask about Josh anymore after that but I could tell he was holding back a mouth full as he left my room. 

That was the last time Josh and I saw each other for weeks. I was too afraid to have him come back, but honestly Josh was in school, he had to find people to rent out our apartment to and over all he was busy trying to make our life work while keeping his own. I never asked, but I was asking a lot of him. I don't remember what day it was , maybe a week day , but me and my father were having breakfast before he had to go to work. Weeks without Josh had made me something less than my usual self. I was on house arrest, which meant no weed, no Josh, no Josh meant no sex , and I didn't have friends so I was just wasting away. I couldn't take another day on that farm with nothing to do so I started to push lines. 

Mason- why don't you like Josh 

Dean- Who said I don't 

Mason- if you don't hate him, if you don't not like him , then why can't I see him 

Dean- we have been over this 

Mason- mom was a dragon , you should be on my side about this 

Dean- Dragons and humans are not the same 

Mason- yea well Josh is more than just human 

Dean- your just never going to stop are you 

Mason- stop what 

Dean- self destructing , self sabotaging, setting your self up for failure 

Mason- There's no room for even the smallest margin of error with you, so sorry I'm not the perfect son 

Dean- Its not about perfection, that's your problem, you look for how much you can get away with or how far you can step up to the edge rather than trying to do your best , rather than being your best , or maybe that would be your problem if you tried at all

Mason- how is Josh keeping me from being my best 

Dean- Humans, as intelligent as they are, and moral as they try to be , they will always be trouble 

Mason- how can you say that 

Dean- look at the wars and the senseless atrocities that went on to no end before furs , humans try but they can never be a good thing 

Mason - Josh isn't a thing , he's a person 

Dean- you sound like your mother 

My father never talked about my mother , it was a shock and hearing it relate to me was too much to pass over.

Mason- what's that supposed to mean 

Dean- Josh is a good boy , I have yet to see him be anything other than a good boy , but to you he would only be another distraction another vice keeping you from living your life , and he will be worse than the many drugs that liter your past 

I started to tear up. How could he be so cold . 

Dean- look at where your relationship has gotten you. Loosing jobs, moving in together to avoid being homeless, over dosing on drugs and nearly landing yourself in jail , and now your life is literally on hold and the only thing you can think about is that boy 

Mason- He is not a thing , he is a person 

Dean- He is a drug , an addiction that I doubt you will ever kick on your own so no , Josh, that boy, that thing is not allowed in my house, and he never will be 

He took up his cup of coffee and left me sitting at the bar practically crying into my food. 

Josh was not a drug , was he ? Regardless, it wasn't my father's decision to make if I indulged in what made me worse off. But I knew my father didn't want me and Josh together, what kept me on edge for the remainder of the day was how he said I reminded him of my mother. But how , my mother never had a relationship with a human, did she ? She was always with my dad until the day she left. I never knew why she left, could that have been why , was my mother seeing a human, was my mother seeing someone else? I was coming to outlandish unfiltered conclusions. My mother was a subject of unpredictable emotions and typically took me into a head space unfit for the company of anyone but myself. She left when I was a kid so of course even the slightest mention of her was enough to blow my mind. 

An entire day of hating my dad , thinking of conspiracies about my mother , and thinking about Josh. Even in the middle of hate and conspiracy I couldn't help but keep my mind on Josh. Maybe I was addicted, but isn't that what love is supposed to be? Love should be a deep addiction, a good addiction, that's what I thought. But I didn't feel I was letting it keep me from living life. We were making a life , a very adult thing for me to say at 21 in my opinion, but I thought we were. But then I started to think about it . When was the last time I thought about myself, work, school my dreams or really anything other than Josh. His name stayed on my brain or on my tongue more than any other. I was supposed to be graduating soon and I had no idea what my degree was in, I knew I got into film because of Josh but I let myself slip away from my plan if ever there was one to begin with. Josh knew what he wanted where he wanted to go and he was going there. He wasn't trailing off his road like me , was he addicted like me or was I just lazy forgetful and lost in my head. I couldn't allow myself to blame it on him , and I shouldn't have, I should have blamed it on myself for getting so lost in him. I couldn't see it at the time but my father was right. Man I hate it when People prove me wrong.


	10. 3 cups one glass

I only have so many memories of my mother. I know she was a doctor, but I don't know what kind. I know she loved the woods, wore the color green and always had a smile. But the most memorable moment I spent with my mother was the night before she left. She tucked me in for bed, and looking back on that moment I think she knew it was the last time I'd see her. She told me "no matter what you do , no matter what you love , give it your all because if you can't it was never worth the time" ,not exactly the sort of thing most parents tell their kids before bed. I think I tried to take it to heart though. I got into college if nothing else, but honestly that wasn't me giving it my all. Going to college was always the next step in my life after high school, my dad made sure of that. I think that's something me and Josh had in common, our parents made sure we got into school. But I never knew what I wanted. I knew things that I liked , but wants aren't the same as likes. After two months of being on house arrest I was beginning to believe my father's dark speech about Josh being an addiction as I went through a withdrawal that brought on a depression. 

I needed to leave that house. I needed to get away from myself, and away from my father. But I no longer thought it best to be around Josh ether , not while I was evaluating our relationship. Josh and I hadn't spoke to one another in a while anyway, as expected he got caught up with school and he was renting out our apartment . We were drifting apart and it only put more voices in my head to fill the silence when I was alone for hours each day. 

I was allowed to leave the farm house for three reasons while on house arrest. Three reasons that my father kept from me until the day he found me wandering around the house half naked chewing my tail out of misery. A medical emergency, court appointed rehabilitation , or work necessary to keep the home I was staying in were the only way I could leave . I wasn't about to hurt myself and my father owned the farm house so there was no need for a job. But I tied to apply to get a job anyway, but it was denied. The only way to leave was to do rehabilitation. Surprisingly enough I had an option of weather or not to go to rehab. As long as I passed a drug test at the end of the year and my tracker stayed where it was supposed to be, it seemed the judge didn't care what I did. My father thought it would be best for me to go. I agreed to see a special therapist who took cases of addiction to drugs and substances.

It's amazing how easy it was to talk to a complete stranger about my life. It was the first appointment, we were only supposed to discuss basic stuff like how I got on house arrest and what I was addicted to. I couldn't shut up once I started, and it didn't help that he hardly said a word as he took notes. The notes made me so nervous, I couldn't see what he was writing so I felt the need to keep justifying my every statement like I was on trial. I do think I made the most of the experience. I told doctor Hobart everything that came to mind and then some. 

Ever since my mother left I had to find something to make it through each day. Rage was my first addiction. It was the most simplistic way to get released from my problems. I tried so hard to stay the good kid because I knew I wasn't the first kid to grow up without one of his parents. But I was a kid. I'd like to say it felt good to be angry, I'd like to say it made me happy, but it only distracted my mind for as long as I could spin out of control. Every rant , every fight, each threat and fist ready to be thrown was just a temporary wall. But then I found weed. It was mellow, it made me mellow. I tried to abandon rage with weed but when my supply got low I always fell back into old ways. Weed let me stay in a haze too strong to think about trouble or anything else, but nothing felt better than pain. And then Josh came along. He was love , a drug too good to be true. He was everything I never knew I wanted until it was standing in front of me. But when he wasn't around I fell back to weed, and when weed was low I fell back to rage. It was all so clear but I wish I hadn't seen it. If only my mother had stayed, maybe I wouldn't have been hooked. Maybe I would have had some idea of a life I wanted. That's what I told him. I was unfiltered and probably sounded crazy. But when I finally couldn't lacked words to speak he put down his notes and told me it was a good start.

I never told Josh I started seeing a therapist. Even after weeks passed, I don't know maybe I didn't think I should or maybe I couldn't bring myself to tell him. We spoke so little to one another anymore maybe I just forgot to tell him.

I saw Doctor Hobart every Wednesday morning. Our talks moved from rants to actual discussions. We never really talked about weed, drugs, or my over dosing even when they were the subject of discussion. My mother came up a lot , so did my dad and Josh , but he seemed to want me to talk more about myself. Hobart said my problem wasn't with addiction, but with codependency. I didn't know what he meant for sure but as far as I could tell he thought I had a problem knowing myself without being associated with someone or something else. 

I never really felt like we were making progress , but I didn't know what progress would look like. I do know I wasn't making progress because I was falling back into my old habits, and with weed being unavailable I fell back to rage. Addiction or codependency whatever my problem was I was still in the dark. I didn't know what I wanted. 

It was another Wednesday morning , I'd just finished an appointment with Hobart. I had to wait for my father to pick me up and drive me back home. While in the waiting room I noticed a familiar face. It was Kaz. He sold Josh weed that almost got me killed so I wasn't about to go make conversation but when he saw me he came and sat next to me. 

Mason- what are you doing here 

Kaz- Mason , I can't believe your here , I've been thinking about you 

Mason - I haven't thought about you 

Kaz- I never meant for you to get hurt 

Mason- that doesn't matter now 

Kaz- it was a special batch , made for your boyfriend, If I knew you we're going to smoke it I never would have 

Lucky for me I saw my dad pull up out front of the building.

Mason- You almost killed me Kaz , I don't care what the reason is , just leave me alone

I got up and made my way outside to the car. 

That wasn't my last time seeing Kaz. For weeks I'd see him after every appointment with Hobart. I could believe he needed therapy but for Kaz to be there every time I was could not be a coincidence. I felt I was being stalked. And he made it worse the day he showed up to my father's house. 

The door bell rang and it was mid day, a Tuesday. I was barely dressed when I opened the door and he was just standing there. 

Mason- What are you doing here 

Kaz- I had to see you , I didn't want you to be angry anymore 

Mason- Showing up here isn't helping 

Kaz- You know I see Josh everyday , before he goes to school, when he comes home , when I pass him on the stairs 

Mason- Your point 

Kaz- I know what I did was wrong , it was a low point for me , but you remind me so much of ... I couldn't help myself 

As alone as days might have felt , I was not in the mood for the company of Kaz. 

Mason- OK this has not been fun and I think it's lasted long enough so.... 

I started to shut the door. 

Kaz- I knew what would happen to whoever used the weed I gave your boyfriend 

Mason- You what 

Kaz- I wanted it to happen, it was a bad idea that I couldn't stop myself from going through with 

Mason- I thought it was an accident but your saying you tried to kill Josh 

Kaz- No , never, I would never 

Mason- But you did 

Kaz- I wanted you 

Was he insane?

Mason- So what, you thought if you killed Josh I would just come running to you , I don't even know you 

I punched him in the face and he took it. 

Mason- How crazy are you to think that drugging my boyfriend would make me want you , why would I want you 

I punched him again. His face was already bleeding, the second punch sent him tumbling off the porch on to his back. But he took it. 

Kaz- I know that I was wrong 

I got over him and sat on his chest and started choking him. He held my hands keeping me from getting a better grip so I went back to punching his face. 

Mason- You ruined my life 

It was so easy. Finally having someone to blame , finally having a face to put my problems to , finally having a face to punch in to the ground. But he didn't make me smoke his drugs. He didn't make me the lost person that I was and as I continued to hit him I began to see that truth. Was it my withdrawal from Josh that made me desperate, or my codependency that made me see another person lost without his other half and think that we were so much the same. Or maybe it was something else all entirely. Ether way in the end I took action. I kissed him. He was still bleeding but he seemed happy to forget the blood if it meant I forgave him. But I didn't forgive him. The kiss lasted for so long that I had to end it. I stood up and stepped away. 

Mason- You need to leave 

Kaz- But I 

Mason- You need to leave or I'll call the cops 

He got up and left and I couldn't bring myself to move. What had I done ?


	11. Irony of self Thought

I didn't tell Josh about my episode with Kaz, and why would I? We were hardly speaking to one another, were we still together? He still tried to stay in touch when he could, but I was distant. Our apartment was still ours , he couldn't take my name off of it, and I knew he wouldn't. But If our names weren't both in the contract would we still be together? After how far we'd drifted from one another I would have understood if he made the decision to leave me , but would he understand if I made that choice. He could have ghosted me and left without ever letting me know. But our names were still in the contract. So when I felt we were over I knew we weren't done. It was clear I was moving on. I couldn't remember the last time we had sex , the last time we spoke in more than three word responses, or even the last time I saw his face. I didn't know who he let move into our apartment, it could have been anyone. And if he had his secrets it would only be right with me having my own. 

Why did I kiss Kaz? I thought about it for days. At the time I had no idea the real question I should have been asking. Kaz almost killed Josh because he wanted me. I kissed him, I led him on , so there was no telling what he'd do. But I wasn't thinking about that. I wasn't thinking about how Kaz lived one floor under Josh. I wasn't thinking about how crazy he already was and how much worse he could be. What was I thinking? 

All I knew was as pissed as I was at Kaz I felt like I'd lost Josh. I lost him to time and my own doubts. But I didn't want to be alone anymore. I told myself it was a bad idea , I hardly knew the guy, but what I knew was how insane he could be. I had his number. We had some kind of connection if only for a moment, and it felt better than what I'd been going through for a while. It's a terrible game we play with ourselves when we know we're going to do something but try to talk ourselves out of it. 

I called him. I was still angry, and a part of me wanted to call the cops on him, but that would not have changed anything. Sure he was crazy, but I'm the one that made Josh think I needed drugs which meant I was the reason the whole situation had an opportunity to happen. Time with Hobart allowed me the self awareness to realize the effect of my actions, but at that time I wasn't thinking at all as logically as I do now. I think the one thing that kept me from calling the cops and made me call Kaz is the same thing that made me scared of him and somehow connected. He lost his wife in a terrible way, he clearly had something going on in his head, so I didn't see him as a killer even when I saw him as a killer. I didn't think he was evil, I thought what he'd done was stupid. The more I thought about it the less I could be angry about. Sure he was a drug dealer that almost killed my boyfriend , but I was an addict that my boyfriend got drugs for. And that's why I was pulling away from Josh , because I saw the danger I put him in and the danger loving him brought on myself. 

Our conversation was short because honestly I didn't know why I called him. I didn't know what I wanted to say or what I wanted to hear , but we were on the phone. 

Kaz- I'm glad you called me 

Like I said , I didn't know what to say, so I suppose he spoke for the both of us.

Kaz- I never meant to hurt anyone , I got lost in this idea , I'm not gay by the way it's just that you remind me so much of my wife you even throw a punch the same way 

Mason- just stop 

Kaz- I would never want someone to go through what I had to 

Mason- Kaz stop 

Kaz- but when I did what I did I wasn't thinking, I should have stopped myself 

I never thought about it much but throwing up sucks , throwing up sucks so bad . It's like your body is trying to kill it's self and while it does you have no idea if you'll survive. It just happens, there is no stopping it or slowing it down to breath , it happens until it's done and you just have to sit there and let it run its course. The conversation I had with Kaz is comparable to throwing up. I felt like shit for even starting it but once I was in it I couldn't pull out. Even when I felt my most low for the sheer amount of betrayal to Josh that took place I let it keep running.

Mason- Kaz for fuck sake stop

He went silent and where I felt I had something to say it took me a moment to find the words. 

Mason- I forgive you 

Kaz- you mean that 

Mason- I forgive you , but I'm not in love with you , I don't really like you, your a drug dealer and I'm trying to stay sober

Kaz- I understand 

Mason- But I get being lost enough to do something stupid, I just need to know you won't try to hurt Josh again 

What was I doing? Did I really care for Josh's safety anymore or was I saying the things I knew I should to make up for the things I knew I shouldn't?

Kaz- of course not 

But you know what they say , conversation leads to action. Eventually I invited him back. If only to get past the feelings I had about both our involvements in Josh almost being hurt I thought it couldn't hurt to speak face to face. I was alone and willing to take a friend with broken morals and logic if it meant having a conversation. 

Funny thing is my father had no problem with me inviting Kaz into his house. He would never allow Josh, but the person who almost killed him and myself was perfectly fine. It goes without saying I never told my father Kaz was a drug dealer, but I don't think it matters in the grand view. What did matter is how easy it was to let Kaz in but Josh was still being pushed out. My father thought he was an addiction, my therapist thought I was too codependent, and I was starting to think maybe time had already broken us apart. And who did the universe send at the peak of our withering relationship? Kaz. 

Kaz was safe. He wasn't gay so there was no chance of a relationship happening, but we had things in common. He could have been a friend, but I never let him get that close. There was no reason for me to have him in my father's house, but I did. There were no answers to pursue, no questions to ask , but I kept him around. Was I cheating on Josh? I was replacing him. There was no love but plenty of time spent. I didn't try to stay connected anymore. I knew he had something to do with my life not being on track and I couldn't have him anyway. So I latched on to something that I could have even if it was hollow, because it was something. I gave up and moved on.


	12. Last call Josh

Missed call 

Dec.20 Voice message from Josh to Mason: Hey Mason it's almost winter break. I know you can't come with me but I'm going home for Christmas. 

Dec.23 Missed call from Josh  
Dec. 23 Missed call from Josh   
Dec. 25 Missed call from Josh 

Text:   
Dec. 25 Josh- Merry Christmas 

Dec. 25 Missed call from Mason   
Dec. 25 Missed call from Josh 

Text:   
Dec. 25 Mason- Merry Christmas 

Jan. 1 Voice message from Josh to Mason: So my family isn't very happy to know what's been going on with us. My dad wants me to leave you , I'll be honest I don't know if I'm even with you sometimes , I'm sorry I didn't mean that , I just .. we don't talk anymore 

Text:  
Jan. 2 Mason- I'm sorry 

Text:  
Jan. 5 Josh - hey I'm going back to school tomorrow, I'm bringing you back some left overs of my mom's pie 

Mason- thx 

Josh- you think your dad will let me get it to you 

Mason- doubt it 

Jan. 10 Voice message from Josh to Mason : Hey Mason , I thought you might wanna know there are a few people at school that miss you, I miss you , I really miss you 

Text:  
Jan. 11 Mason - miss you 2

Jan. 23 Voice message from Josh to Mason: So this couple I let move into the apartment, they seemed nice , they are nice , but they don't fucking sleep. They're always up in the middle of the night going at it and ... (laughs) it kinda reminds me of us come to think of it , I wish you'd call back I know it's not easy being out there by yourself but I just feel like ... 

Jan. 30 Voice message from Josh to Mason: Are we still together, is this still a thing , I feel like every time we talk your not even there 

Feb. 8 Voice message from Josh to Mason : So me and the neighbors are starting to get a little close. The guy outside with the broken down car is actually kinda cool , his name is Amp. He's been giving me rides to school so I don't have to take the bus . And I see Zane often , did you know he works at our school. Anyway I don't here from you very often so ... I don't know , call me 

Text:   
Feb. 19 Mason- I think we should see other people 

Josh- what 

Josh- why 

Mason- you deserve better 

Josh- I still want you 

Mason- You don't need me , I'm not good for you 

Josh- where is this coming from , we don't talk for weeks at a time and now this 

Mason- your gonna graduate soon and when you do you won't need me holding you back 

Josh- your not holding me back 

Mason- well maybe your holding me back 

Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh

Text:   
Feb. 19 Mason- stop 

Josh- what the hell is going on 

Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 19 Missed call from Josh

Feb. 20 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 20 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 21 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 22 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 22 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 25 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 25 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 25 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 25 Missed call from Josh  
Feb. 26 Missed call from Josh

Text:  
Feb. 27 Mason- look when the lease is up on the apartment we should just go our separate ways 

Josh- why are you doing this 

Mason- because I'm an addict , and I don't want this to happen again 

Josh- don't I get a say in this 

Mason- don't call me again Josh


	13. The end

To find out what happens next look for the next installation in the "No Fur No Fun" series " Life after Love". You can also read other stories that take place in the same universe such as "New Life", "No Promises", "Doctors Log", "Rat Tail", and "Strange Fruit" until "Life after Love" is here. Until then I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who follows my stories and supports my work , as a writer with a slight disability and no editors or team behind me it means the world that I've grown to have so many followers that stay tuned to see what happens next. Please feel free to leave comments by the way because I love reading those and actually interacting with those who read my stories.


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